1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I supernannyed him into submission
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
