I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
