Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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