it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
