he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
