hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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