woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
