He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
