She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
