I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
