talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
