she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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