Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think a kid would responsible me up
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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