i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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