I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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