i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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