just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
