Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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