Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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