I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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