She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
