She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
