Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
