the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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