Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You need Xanax blowdarts
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
