Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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