one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My balls are so social today.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
