Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
