Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
