coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
