Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
