and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I don't think brook has ever known best
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
