Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
operation harelip BJ is a go
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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