we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize