Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
