I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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