...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize