dude i'm inner monologue high
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
