my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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