VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I need water and some morals
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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