i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize