i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
