I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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