awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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