I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize