and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
