It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
