I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
