Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
