I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
