Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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