it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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