I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
