I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize