dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
