i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize