this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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