took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
