Will you blow on my dice?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize