i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
