so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
