Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
