I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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